I've been a huge fan of Parents Magazine and many other parenting "help resources" out there, but for some reason, I seemed to always be missing something. I would take bits and pieces of advice and use it, but I still felt kinda lost when it came to certain problems with my kids. Like, putting Alyssa in time out drove me crazy cuz she would just run right out screaming at the top of her lungs again. I could put her in time out 100 times in 5 minutes and in the end wanna rip my hair out. Supernanny, I'm sorry, but the "naughty spot" doesn't work! She gets to keep bothering me with her screaming if she's in the corner.. and putting Jayden in time out didn't work either cuz Tannon and Alyssa would go play with him totally defeating the purpose of "solitary thinking time". Anyway, marbles in a jar, money, sticker charts, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. NO LONG TERM GAIN!! At least, not for my kiddos. (and it had nothing to do with consistency, I'm a horse trainer for goodness sake)
So, here's what we have been doing: Justin and I signed up for a class called LOVE AND LOGIC. Its a great system based on letting your kid MAKE MISTAKES and let the consequences be the teacher. This has been a huge blessing for our family. It gives me key phrases to say that just roll off my tongue. (which is a big deal for me, cuz I tend to talk a bit too much :) )
For example: Jayden came home from school the other day saying: "I climbed the playground fence and I'm gonna get a Colt Citation and not be able to go to the Sand Hollow field trip."
Me: Dang! That's sad! Whatcha, gonna do about it?
Jayden: "I don't know!" I really want to go swimming and I can't with a Colt Citation.
Me: Wow! Sounds like you really wanted to go! What do you think you should do?
Jayden: I'm gonna try to talk to the pricipal and see if she'll just understand I was just trying to get my jacket back.
Me: That might work! Good luck and hope it works out for ya!
Jayden: You're not mad?
Me: NOPE!
Jayden: Why not?
Me: Cuz, if you're in trouble at school, that's between you and the school. I'll let their consequences be enough for now.
At this point, Jayden is wondering where his REAL mom is. Well, she's right here...reading her Love and Logic workbook....
2 days ago
9 comments:
I've heard of that book. I'll have to read it. I am always reading self help parenting books, but nothing has clicked with for me. It's tough work being a parent, huh?
Yahoo for you guys! I hope it all works! It sounds like such a good deal....just let your kids deal, figure life out.....yup, I should probably read that book! :)
yup, I love that stuff. I got it at the library and I wanted Ben to read it but he's not a reader so I got it on CD. only took like 3 months to get it b/c it was on hold forever! But I got it, woo hoo! The whole choices thing for Kylee totally works for her stage right now. And the whole well you made a bad choice thing works for her too. but then we'll hit 3 or 4 years of age and wonder what in the world we do now. parenting is just awesome. just when ya get it down, they grow up! :) but I would love to do the classes too. thanks for posting and reminding me I need to do that. good job you guys!
My sister and her husband took these classes and read the book and she thought it has made such a difference. I'm interested in reading the book. Anyways, hope you guys are going good!!
Hi stranger, sounds like you have a good thing going. Keep it up. Finally got back on the blog to update. We are gathering momentum, now til end of Aug is going to be busy. Hope all is well.
Your kids are beautiful....Ü
There is a lady in our ward that teaches this class. It sounds like a really good parenting class, hopefully I can get around to taking it someday! I am glad it is working for you and your family!
Have the book of love and logic. I also have the book Magic 1-2-3. My biggest problem is consistency, I hope you don't have that. It will work if your consistent :)
Seriously I think parenting is a constant learning battle, but one that is so important.
Yah, I will be there in June for the recital with my baby! It will be fun to see you.
I am so glad you shared that because I think all of us battle these situations with our kids and sometimes don't know how to handle it the best way. Thanks for sharing the book, I need to get it!
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